What is special about the Christmas alphabet?
It has NO EL.

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus!

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
He likes to ho-ho-ho.

How does Santa Claus take photos?
With his North Pole-aroid. Read the rest of this entry »

There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.

Half way there he said, “man i really gotta take a dump.” he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.

While he was taking this dump he read a sign that said “There is no toilet paper… You have wipe your ass with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you.”

Well, he had no choice so he wiped his ass with his fingers and stuck them out the hole.

All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers.

The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers.

1. A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, “This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men… Read the rest of this entry »